For love of selfies

I came across this video today and wanted to share it with you:

This Will Forever Change the Way You Look at Sefies

As I watched this I realized a couple of things. First: My self-criticism affects my daughters tremendously! ICK! I don't want to be that mother! But here is the rub: How does one portray self-confidence about personal traits when it just isn't there? This video actually gave me a key to doing that.

Second: I often find myself criticizing not only my OWN selfies (which are few and far between), but other people's. I am not a critical person, so why?? I will just as easily compliment others selfies, too! Maybe I do it to feel better about my own selfies? I mean...I would NOT do the duck face! It is just so awkward! So I criticize those selfies, which perversely makes me feel better about my own because I would NEVER do that! The truth is, I can't pull of a decent duck face to save my life, so I won't subject others! It is a bit overused, but that is rather off topic.

And the key that I found? When this video concluded, I decided to challenge myself, and I invite each of you to take up the same challenge! From now on, when I see selfies, I am going to purposely express a compliment about it! When I see selfies on Facebook, I will comment on something SPECIFIC that I think is beautiful about it. But, even more of a challenge - I will find things about my OWN selfies that I will compliment (to myself, at least!). That will be even harder because after all, I am my own worst critic.

I want to learn to project for my daughters a positive self-image and confidence. Take this path with me and lets really start developing a society where beauty truly is diverse and fully appreciated!

Unforgiveness hinders

Hebrews 12:1 - "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us..."

 The last few days my daily reading has really hit something in me that I thought I had dealt with, but find that there was some residual unforgiveness hiding in a dark corner of my soul. It started with Mark 11:25 - "And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins. ”

My initial reaction was to respond with 'yes, yes, I know. Been there, done that, moving on.' So yes, I rushed over it, telling myself that I forgive easily, so there can't be anything that I am holding onto so why reflect on it? I had a lot to do that day and everything, I didn't have time to look for something that I was sure wasn't there.

And then yesterday, the reading was centered around Psalm 37:8 - "Refrain from anger and turn from wrath;

do not fret—it leads only to evil." I am doing a Joyce Meyer devotional from her book "New Day, New You" and for this verse, she talks about letting things go that we can't do anything about. So while I still pushed it off, I will admit that I had to acknowledge that there MIGHT be something that I haven't fully dealt with, BUT I had every right to feel the way I do, since I was so harshly treated!

 

So, today I had this above verse from Hebrews. After the last several days of ruminating and being argumentative about what I truly wanted to avoid, I finally gave in and am in the process of meeting head on some unforgiveness that I have been holding onto that has definitely hindered me. Was I hurt in a way that, in the natural self, IS unforgivable? Certainly. Does holding onto that unforgiveness feel good? Absolutely. I have felt completely justified in holding onto that, BUT the truth is, holding onto this not only keeps me from more intimate communication with God, but it hinders me and entangles my "feet" so that my walk is affected and I am not fulfilled.

So what do we do about it? As difficult as it is to face it, I must participate in forgiveness. Participate - forgiveness is an act, not a feeling. Regardless of how I feel about the person I haven't forgiven or the situation that initiated the unforgiveness, forgiveness isn't about him. It is about me, and my relationship with God. We don't forgive in order to make the human relationship right, although that CAN be a side effect. We forgive others in order to make our relationship with GOD right. 

My prayer for myself, and all of you, is that we each learn to walk in true forgiveness, not just speak it, but truly walk in it, so that we can experience the fullness of what God has for us.

The beauty of words

Someone shared this video on Facebook and I couldn't resist sharing it here and just talking about it a little bit.

I have always felt that words need to be chosen carefully. They can so powerfully heal, but can so powerfully hurt, too. I really like how this video illustrated the power that words hold when you just rearrange them, or use different wording.

You can change a person's life just by choosing your words carefully. I have had a friend tell me that if it wasn't for the encouragement and care I showed through my words, he would not be here today. The idea that I could affect someone's life to that degree just by choosing words that edify instead of tear down is humbling and overwhelming. People are too quick to cut other people down with their words and not build them up.

I challenge each and every person reading this to try an experiment for the next week. Every time you find yourself using words that hurt, take a moment and then use words that encourage or edify. Even when you speak to yourself - if you criticize yourself, then turn around and say something positive about you TO you. You may be surprised on how it changes your attitude and mood!

Rejoice and be glad!

Psalm 35:11 - "11Rejoice in the Lord and be glad, you righteous; sing, all you who are upright in heart! "

Active voice! Just because God says he will give us joy, it doesn't mean we should be sitting back waiting for it. Rejoicing is to BE glad. Rejoicing is a choice for those who are followers of Christ. Our rejoicing should not be because of our circumstances, it should be because of what God has done for us through Jesus Christ. If that isn't enough to rejoice about then I am being far too self-centered. If I am feeling sorry for myself, disappointed in myself or my life, unhappy with my circumstances or people, then I am focusing too much on my flesh and what it wants instead of my God and what He has done.

Of course, life isn't perfect, so there will sometimes be moments that we don't feel like rejoicing. Rejoicing isn't about how we feel. It is possible to rejoice without feeling happy about it! Rejoicing is an action. No, I am not happy that my husband died, and of course I mourn and have sadness about it and miss him. However, I have a choice to make. I can choose to let those feelings overwhelm me and dictate my life to the point where I am non-functioning. Or I can feel those emotions, let myself ride the waves I need to ride, and determine to remind myself of the truth that exists beyond my feelings: That God knows what is happening, He cares, and things can and will change.

When I am feeling overwhelmed with life, I find that what helps is taking a few moments to myself, closing my eyes, and doing a small twist on a relaxation technique: Breathe in and say in my mind "I love you Jesus", hold my breath and again - "I love you Jesus", and then release while again thinking "I love you Jesus". I do this several times while focusing on that ONE fact, which supersedes all of the things that are trying to overwhelm me and take over my mind.

Working out your salvation

Philippians 2:12 & 13:  12Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, 13for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.

While doing my reading this morning and for the first time in 20+ years sometime jumped out at me. "continue to work out your salvation". I have read this verse I don't know how many times, but never has it really hit me what this means. I have always focused on the fear and trembling part and missed the rest of it. But this time some things struck me about it.

The words 'continue' and 'work out' imply activity. It is not up to God to walk my Christian walk. It is up to me. In verse 13, God states that He will give me the power to continue working out my salvation. The word 'continue' means 'to go on with or to persist in'. Again, this is an action! I can't sit back and expect God to make me perfect, or even better, if I don't actively participate in the process! The term 'work out' literally means 'to bring about by work, effort, or action; to evolve; elaborate; to prove effective or successful; to practice, exercise, or train, especially in order to become proficient'. There are a lot of active words there: bring, effort, action, evolve, elaborate, prove, practice, exercise, train - none of those words are passive.

YES, I need God's hand and power in order to "will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose." However, I am the one that needs to persist in practicing, exercising, training, proving my salvation. Without God, this is not possible. Without my effort, this is not possible. God has so graciously allowed my salvation to be a team effort. Not the initial salvation part - that is a gift that I could never earn - but to continue my walk in such a way that is pleasing to God - it must be done WITH the power of the Holy Spirit working in me, but it must also be done with my active participation. It reminds me of the parable of the talents - the one that passively buried his portion ended up losing it, but the ones that actively participated in 'becoming proficient' were given an even greater reward!

Strive to be part of the team that God has designed. Persist in becoming more proficient (well-advanced, competent, an expert) in my fulfilling the purpose that God has laid out for me.

Hello! Welcome to Heather's Heart! You may have guessed this already, but my name is Heather. I have thought about doing this blog for some time now, but have procrastinated terribly about it! Mainly because I wasn't sure that anyone would be even remotely interested in what I might have to say! However, on the advice and encouragement of several friends and professionals, here I am. Be patient, please, because while I have done a small blog before, it was related to a game, so a bit easier than bearing my soul at times!

You might ask: "Who are you, why are you writing a blog, and why should I care what you have to say?" Well. I already told you my name, but that isn't really who I am. I am many things to many people, I am a daughter, a mother, a widow, even an ex-wife, I am a friend, a sister, a cousin, an aunt, and right now, I am a dislocated worker, as well as a college student. Whew. That sounds like a lot, doesn't it? But it kind of tells WHAT I am, not who I am.

That brings me to the why of writing a blog. I hope to use my entries in this blog to tell who I am. As you take this journey with me, my hope is that you will determine for yourself who I am, maybe without even realizing it along the way. I do not wish to dictate to you who I am, since I believe that anyone who truly takes the time to get to know me can learn it pretty easily since I am an open book.

So why should you care what I have to say? Hmm...well, there is no reason to care. Truly. I have had quite a journey in my life, although not as dramatic as some. That, mixed with my love for people, my faith, my ability to express myself, my desire to write, and the wisdom that I have accrued over the years from my relationships, I believe that I have some worthwhile things to share about marriage and raising children. And along the way, my prayer is that my experiences and my musings would help, encourage or motivate you in some way.

I have been married twice. One really not so good marriage and one really great marriage. I learned a lot about marriage from both and I have been raising 3 children, mostly on my own. Considering they are pretty great people, I realize, and have been told, that I must have done something right! My goal is to share some of my thoughts, experiences, lessons and even advice with you that you may take something away from your time with me and that it may change you or encourage you in some way to make your life better and more fulfilling.

May God bless you today and every day!